bittersweet

I hurt my back. Ever since having Ollie I have dealt with pain in my lower back. It comes and goes and I really don’t know what I do to make it hurt or what I do to make the pain go away. My back began to hurt again the week before last and on that Saturday it got worse. But I just ignored it, hoping the pain would go away but it didn’t. I was in so much pain I wasn’t able to walk, bend or move without intense pain in my lower back. I would say it was pain worse than child birth. My back has slowly gotten better I no longer have to use a cane to get around the house. I did go to the doctor and she said that I couldn’t pick up or hold Ollie and I had to stay home from work for a week.

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor’s to get clearance to go back to work on Wednesday. It has been really nice being able to see my little guy everyday, but hard too. When he comes crawling over to me and wants me to pick him up I have to deny him and he cries because he doesn’t understand. It’s been hard keeping up with him. He is always getting into stuff that he knows he’s not supposed to get into and it’s been a pain, literally, to pull him away from the fireplace, refrigerator, toilet, curtains, plugs and etc. But I am going to miss moments like today when I went into get him up from his nap. He was laying on his back talking to himself as he had both feet dangling out of the slats of his crib and his arms around his stuff monkey.

Staying home this past week has really made me miss those little moments that I don’t get to experience while I am working. Why can’t someone pay me loads of cash to stay home and take care of Oliver full time? I do miss my friends at work and the consumers that I work with I am anxious to hear how everyone’s week went. But I know it’s going to be hard to step out the front door come Wednesday. It will be like my first day of work all over again.

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